I strongly agree with your point that "tough to swallow" outcomes would be better than nuclear war. Actually any outcome will be tough to swallow for someone. Yes, if Russia keeps Crimea and Donbas, that will be tough to swallow for Ukrainian nationalists and those who identify with them. On the other hand, if Russia loses Crimea and/or Donbas, that will be tough to swallow for the pro-Russian people who live there.